1.6.05

A, S-S, H-O, L-E

Yup. So I was an asshole Monday night. Grade A, First Class, USDA Choice Ashley.

But it was fun.

Setting the scene, for those of you who were not around, or didn't hear the story:

A few of us were out having a smoke outside the club the other night. A few guys come up and ask what kind of club it is. I could actually see De8 take in a breath to say some thing along the lines of "Well, normally, it is a gay club, but tonight they have a goth/industrial night" or something along those lines. However a certain jackass has to respond "It's a gay club. Want me to suck your dick."

Brilliant.

One other guys starts flipping out, basically saying, in a much more aggressive tone than I can capture here, "How dare you ask me to suck your dick".

Of course, being drunk, I had to correct him, reminding him that the jackass had actually asked if the redneck wanted his dick sucked.

Also brilliant.

The guy flips out some more, and we manage to get him calmed down to the point where he'll actually leave. (Realizing in retrospect that D8 had more tact than me at that point. I think that's one of the earlier signs of the apocalypse.)

So, flash forward to the end of the night, and many stories about the jackass (the one that was actually in the club) being, well, a jackass.

Jackass was talking to the same person I was talking to, and something came up about something, and I chime in "Tact, you need to learn a little bit of tact." (Irony defined?) So jackass goes off about not changing who he is, not holding back comments, etc, etc.
Fine, I say, that's all well and good, but keep in mind that other people around you may not want to deal with the fall out. "Well, Wally", he says, "This is a bar, not the Christian Science Reading Room."
"Yep, you're right. And the point of us being here is to have fun."

Then he tried to make it a point about the gentrification of Portland, saying I don't know the real Portland, because I grew up in North Deering (Actually, I grew up in East Deering, but whatever), etc, etc...

Yup, that's it. Your being a jackass is absolved because people from out of state are moving to Maine.

I've always disliked this person. A LOT. Now it would be a full fledged hatred. There aren't too many people that I even really dislike. I think there are about two others. And I can't even think of them right now.

But now, I say FUCK, you jackass. Eat a rock, piss off. I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, and would piss on you if you weren't on fire.

To everyone else that may have been involved, I say, "Sorry about that."

But it was fun for a while.

5 Comments:

Blogger Baron said...

Would you pee on me if I was on fire?

*hopeful look*

12:41 PM  
Blogger Wally Fenderson said...

Baron, Were you the jackass?

If not, then, of course I would!

12:50 PM  
Blogger Lady_Tease said...

Wow I miss a whole lot by bailing early don't I!!!!!

2:43 PM  
Blogger Baron said...

Not that particular jackass no. :)

It is good to know you would pee on me in an emergency, thanks Wally!

6:24 PM  
Blogger DeHuman8 said...

wow you even admited in writing that i have more tact, i was thinking that sign would never come...

6:44 PM  

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