"No, Dad, It's Completely Baked."

I always forget how much I like The Graduate. I caught the very beginning and very end on cable last night. Quite possibly one of the earliest "banter" style dialog movies (think Clerks or Sports Night) that I can think of. Maybe not exactly the same style, but definitely a precursor. And Simon & Garfunkle all through out.


And now, the political-
This "War on Christmas" shit has to stop. Now. I'm not talking about the stores that tell their employees to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" or even the schools that aren't having Christmas parties or allowing images of Santa Claus. I'm talking those that are made necessary by having ninety-seven 24-hour news networks: The Pundits.

Now the pundits need to be stopped on every level possible. But this is just getting fucking ridiculous. Are you trying to find every issue that used to be a fun exercise in debate and turn it into a divisive argument that turns the family dinner table into something closer to Australian parliamentary procedure? I mean, for fuck's sake people, I remember seeing advertising when I was a kid that used "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" back in the eighties. This is NOTHING NEW. This is not an attack on you personal beliefs. This does not warrant entire half-hours of analysis on CNN.
What it is, and any right winger who happens upon this blog should see this and celebrate this point, IS PURE, UNADULTERATED CAPITALISM. It's not ignoring the twenty or so percent of your client base that DOESN'T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS, and may observe ONE OF THE MANY OTHER HOLIDAYS THAT TAKE PLACE IN DECEMBER. From the pure business perspective, if its possible that saying "Happy Holidays" might just bring in more people, YOU FUCKING DO IT. If saying to each and every person that comes into your business "HI. I HAVE A WEASEL IN MY SHORTS" increases business by 5-10%, of course you're gonna do it. You'd be really fucking dumb not to.
And if I'm ever in the physical presence of a Christian who says anything close to something indicating that Christians are being persecuted in this country, or that there's a war on religion in this country, be warned, I WILL HAUL OFF AND DECK YOU. Hard. (Well, OK, as hard as I can. I'm a little guy. But I will make it hurt.) I don't use threats of violence that I mean that often. This one I do. If you can look at our government, and see that something like ninety percent of our elected officials are Christians, and that fifty-one percent of the population would not vote for an atheist for president, and still say the there's a war on religion, and there is a great Christian persecution, then a simple beating wouldn't cure you idiocy. What you, my friend, would need is to be dropped off in a Muslim run dictatorship, with a cross and a Bible, and see persecution first hand.
Realize, instead, that yes, atheists, agnostics, and others with "alternative" beliefs are being a bit more vocal. That is all. A lot of us have just gotten tired of hearing that Atheists can't have morals, aren't "True Americans"(tm), are evil incarnate, are the cause of every problem in this country. That kind of talk has been on the rise for the past five years or so. And you're surprised there's a backlash?
I can only speak for myself, so here it is:
Do I want a ban on religion? No. That would be hypocritical of me. I would like others to respect my beliefs, so I have to respect theirs.
Do I think that the world would be better off without organized religion? Yes, but see above.
What do I want from Theists? Don't try to convert me. Think about how you'd feel if I told you over and over again that you're going to Trenton because you believe in God. You'd be pissed, right? Well, don't do the same to me. If you want to have an actual debate, that's fine. Remember, standard debate rules apply, the burden of proof is on you.
Oh, yeah. I have my morals that I have pieced together from what I have learned in the twenty nine years I've been on this Earth. A lot of them, you'll see, actually match up with yours. But if you going to claim that you're a Christian, or Jewish, or a Buddhist, or whatever, keep in mind that the rules have been pretty much laid out for you. Make sure you actually believe in the dogmas and rules that your flavor of religion holds true. If not, consider using a different term. Or no term at all. JUST BELIEVE HOW YOU WANT TO BELIEVE.

I think that sums it up.


Blogger Anarchy Zen said...

Nice rant! I agree whole heartidly so don't hit me. Ouch! I said don't!

Hey, I got around to putting your blog link on my page. Thanks for the link from yours!

3:14 PM  

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